I have been feeling this very strongly over the last few days and wanted to write about it....But I just don't have any words....and for some more time to come I just want to lock all the questions that I have in my mind and completely surrender to the divine. I want to have the innocence of that child 20 years ago that went and complained to God when amma scolded her for not eating lunch and asked God to somehow replace her pencilbox that she lost in school so that she does not have to face dad, sometimes sang with such devotion that she was angry when God did not come down to appreciate her. The one who gave a mortal form to the immortal and where did she go?? No I searched for her all within myself and could not find her. Lost her and thus lost my blind faith and devotion and now when I go back to being the same I just feel like a big weight lifted off my head...as though I am getting absorbed by nature...Have you ever felt that light??? I still trust God but the difference between then and now is that I ask questions now but then I only had answers...blinfolded answers that everything will be taken care of and yes when I thought everything will be taken care of it was indeed taken care of. Now that I ask questions, I have to find the answers myself.
"Ninnai Charanadaindhen Kannamma"
For the first time after 8 years I sat down and sang like I did when I was in school...with the tanpura....a humble attempt at a Meera bhajan...to fit the theme..Will be back soon hopefully to my cheerful self :)
Mhara Re: Dial up
Mhara Re: Broadband
Meera
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Complete Surrender
Posted by
priti
at
3:36 PM
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6 comments:
After reading this post, I called GOD,as he is in Tight schedule..He given me only two minutes to discuss...I showed HIM your post.
After carefully read your lines...he smiled at me and answered..
"I have trillions & trillions of question.. yet to be answered..But I am happy - my new functionality is started working. I have given the people ability to find answer on their own..which many of my people are not exploring..I am Happy to see ..someone like priti started to use that.It doesn't mean that I will not answer her.When her turns come and still she is struggling to find answer.I will be there to help her.But ask her to use this new ability."
He just vanished after saying this..He is really busy
Priti - Did you got what GOD said above? ...I didn't get....Help me to understand the above..oh..no..First I will try on my own.
I forget to mention -
Your write up and thinking are excellent...This comment also includes for all your post dated posts.
Priti, nice devotional rendition. Shruthi was a bit high on volume. Enjoyed the song. How come you are looking for god/answers right after your school :)? Anyways hope you are back to your energetic self. Keep singing and waiting for more soon.
Had a pleasent listening.Good
hey the song was nice...looking for God to answers...hmm is it not true that our entire life is devoted to find out who we are?? looking at it from that sense, life is always about finding answers to unending questions...
cool girl coool indeed
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